Free at last

"and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"-Romans 10:13

The truth will set you free and free it did! I am a sinner in need of a savior. We all are whether we're honest with ourselves or not! Like I said in my first post I was born in a Christian home but I never really cared for God, the Bible or what my parents believed. I honestly thought that I was okay for the long hall because my parents were Christian...whatever that met. I didn't need to live a certain way or act a certain way I'd just keep doing what I was doing and I'd be fine. Well that isn't what God had planned for us since the beginning. Since the Fall when Adam and Eve sinned, we are all under Gods wrath we are a slave to sin to the devil and to the world! But thank God for sending His Perfect Son to die on the cross to take my sin, our sin with him to the grave......the grave could not hold Him nor keep Him because in three days he rose again reigning like ever before and the veil was torn!! Hallelujah! Jesus you are more than I could ever ask for or imagine and you love me with such a perfect and everlasting love that I do not deserve yet you still choose me! Now isn't that a beautiful thing? God chooses us and wants to be with us. He wants to know us and wants to love us even when we choose to walk away, to not be disobedient, to believe that we have our life under control when we don't! Lord you are so beautiful! My heart and my soul just long to be with you in your presence...as I write this it just brings me to tears (tears of Joy) because the Creator of the universe wants to be with me and know me! Me of all people, gosh my God is so Amazing! I could go on and on and rant about him but let me get back to telling you how He worked in my life.

When I hit the age 11 or 12 I started to seriously think about my eternal state and what it meant to be a follower of Christ and what would happen after i died (I was terrified of dying). One of my friends got baptized and I went home and cried because I wanted what he had but for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to be baptized so I could take communion so I could be cool or at least feel like I was because that's what everyone else did! God showed me that isn't what being baptized or taking communion was for but I representation of surrendering all to Him and following Him daily! Matthew 16:24

I remember when I was up at summer camp and it was our last night there. We were sitting under the stars and my youth pastor was talking about death and where we go after and how if we didn't repent that we would not be in perfect harmony with Him. Right then and there it hit me! One day I would not be here....I wouldn't walk down the same hall way in my house, streets, see the same sights, drive by the same places or anything, I was shaken to the core and scared out of my life. I went home that weekend and was so scared to sleep at night because I was afraid of not waking up. I cried for two weeks straight day in and day out! My mom thought I was crazy...I mean I am a very dramatic child but to me that was the realist thing I've ever been through. Death can be a very scary thing if you don't know if there is an after life or what you believe. After a while I calmed down and everything went back to normal and I went back to living the way that I was with not caring for Christ or living the way He had called me to! I started to search in His word for answers that I knew only he'd provide and that He could make my life new again! I still struggled with certain things like where did God come from and why would he send his only son to die (cause I would never) good thing I'm not God. haha God totally reveled Himself to me in ways I would have never imagined...I started to see my sin in a more deeper way and I was disgusted with myself knowing that God wasn't proud of how I was living...I started to see my need for a savior and that there was no way in Hades that I could change on my own. I'm so sinful and imperfect and prideful...the list could go on and on...that how could I change all my problems and if I could there would be no need for God or sending His son! God was working on me from the beginning of time and he didn't stop until I was his. Isn't that just so sweet?? It's like the parable of the lost son who ran away and wasted all his fathers money and he thought he couldn't come back home and if he did, he would be a servant in his fathers house but no. When he came home his father ran to him and put a robe on him and threw a party because his lost son had returned home. This is just such an amazing picture of Gods love for His people. He doesn't care about your past and what mistakes you've made...he cares about your soul. Gods grace is just so comforting!

I continued to read and search Gods word and at times it was such a struggle because there would be days that I thought I was saved and days that I didn't know and I battled that for a good 6 months. In that time I cried out to Him every night to save my life! "Save me Lord. I Need you, more than anything" that was my cry everyday until the Lord saved me! Thank you Jesus! I don't know the exact date or time that He did but I know that I am His daughter and that all the little instances(like death) he was working on me! Revealing himself to me, braking down my heart of stone. It wasn't a dramatic experience or anything but I started to live by what Christ said....I started to see the fruit that God said you'd see in a follower of his. He saved my life from eternal damn nation from Hell. He is the best Father anyone could ask for! I thought/believed that after He saved me that life would be peachy, easy, beautiful...and for a minute it was, haha but God never promised us an easy life. We will have trails and temptations but we are to count them all joy and yes that can be so hard. I hit this very dark place after being saved and I didn't know why. I was saved, I was his child, I was suppose to be happy, life was suppose to be easy now....were all my thoughts and I struggled so hard with this. Okay, that's all I have on this little piece of information..haha can't give to much for my next post so you'll have to stay tuned to hear about my struggle/hard time.

"The grass withers and the flower fades but the word of our God will stand forever"-Isaiah 40:8 I highly encourage you all to seek after God to read His word to trust that He is the only way to get through this life and to spend eternity with him. I urge you to think for yourself and not what your parents tell you or your pastor to find out for yourself. Search his word and see all the things he says about the way you should live, about everything! Yes, the people that are in charge might know a good amount but you have to be willing to question sometimes what you hear because its not always right or interpreted wrong. I love you all SO much and I want you to know the Jesus of the bible because he changed my life! I am no longer bound to sin. I AM FREE! I want you to live for Him because YOU were made for him! I want you to have hope, love, peace, comfort. I want you to be free but ultimately I want you to know and love Jesus with all your heart, mind and soul! Jesus loves you and wants to know you. His gift is free...all you have to do is surrender! Surrender your life to him because you need him. I'm telling you once you get in the arms of Jesus there is no going back. You are His and he is yours!!! Guys I just can't stop typing!! This is just such a precious moment with you all and Jesus!! Its overwhelming! Earnestly seek after Him. He will change your life for the better! Romans 10:13 "for everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved". God delights in showing mercy and saving! I mean that is what he came to do. That's why he sent his son.."I have not come to call the righteous but the sinners to repentance"-Luke 5:32 SO to sum it all up it doesn't matter how many times you go to church how many people you serve and make happy or all the 'good' things you do in your life, God cares about your heart and your repentance of sin and following him. So I plead with you and for you that God will reveal himself to you in ways you could never imagine and that one day you will know him and love him forever!

I am saved by the grace of God. There is nothing I could do or couldn't do that would make God love me anymore or any less than he already does! He is the King of my heart! I'm so thankful that this place is not home...and that one day I will be HOME with the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, my Father, my Savoir. That is such a beautiful thing, that one day I'll get to spend eternity with the creator of the world and I want that all for you. I love you all so much and I just want the absolute best for you because you all mean the world to me!! God loves you all and wants to know you....I mean since I'm being honest he already knows you because he made you perfectly with all your lovely and amazing qualities but he wants to know you...know you. He wants you to surrender you life to him and call him Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, King of Kings. He wants you to dwell with him for all eternity. I can't wait for the day when I see the Lords face and he calls me home! I want this for you all and I pray that the Lord saves you! I'm praying as I write this that whoever is reading this that it would spark a thought, a feeling, a seed and that God would begin to do work! I mean he's already working, he never stops working. I pray that His will be done, not mine but his! If you have any questions about what you just read or want to know more I will definitely be hear to answer your questions to the best of my ability! Please feel free to ask me anything! I'm always here and more than willing to help or just listen, my email is in my about page!! Sorry, I don't know how to set up a comment box or if that even possible! haha anyways, I love you!

Forever&Always