Friendship that'll last a liffetime

Hey everyone! I just want to say a quick thank you to everyone who takes the time out of their busy life to stop and read my blog. I would also like to thank you all for hearing me story the last week and being patient, it means so much. A huge shout out to one of my closest friends for being there for me as I wrote my last post and for supporting me through my journey...you know who you are! I appreciate you so very much and I've been so blessed to be able to write and tell my story!! Its helped me get through a lot already and heal!

"As soon as I saw you I knew there was an adventure about to happen"-Winnie the Pooh

This is how I feel about the people that have come into my life. I don't have a lot of friends but the ones that I do have I wouldn't change them for anything. I'm so thankful and blessed to have them in life. Its funny to think that the friends that have come and gone in my life were just stepping blocks and learning tools to not make the same mistakes with my future friends!! The things I do for my friends now I would have never done for my previous friends because I didn't know! The things I do for my friends now is because of the pain and hurt I've experienced with my old friends! I love people even though sometimes they can be so annoying and stupid...haha but deep down I do love people. I think they bring a lot to this world and to me!

My close friend asked me tonight if we could be friends forever and I laughed because no one has ever asked me that being serious....but he was so serious. I felt super bad that I was just laughing but no one had ever asked me that and I was so surprised he was being serious because people always say we'll be friends forever and then something happens and the friendship is ruined forever. I hope and pray that we will be friends for a VERY long time. I told him we'll be friends forever as long as we're both committed to the friendship. It can't only be one person doing to all the work and the other just receiving it. It NEEDS to be mutual. Both people/friends need to be doing work! Over that last 3-4 years I've had friends come and go so quickly that I was honestly scared to be honest with him and myself because I don't know if we'll be friends forever. I mean I'll do my part and that's all I can do. I can't make people do what I think they should be doing or what I want them to be doing but I can only attest to myself and my doings. I don't mess around with fake people or people that say they're my friend but don't put in the work for the friendship...I've been so hurt by that that if you try and pull that stunt good look luck on finding a new friend because I will no longer be yours...and if I do decide to be your friend again, it won't be over night. It will take me a long time to trust you again, I'll be able to forgive you fairly quick but my trust will have to rebuild and that will take awhile. Sorry that sounds so harsh and I'm not trying to be rude or hurtful to anyone but I emotionally and physical can't handle anything like that! I won't. I've struggled with that for over three years and I've finally decided to not let people walk over me and to put my foot down. Anyways we pinky promised and so hopefully we'll be friends for a long time. haha

Friendship is really important to me! I believe that God has given you people in your life to help you along with tough struggles and trails that come your way. I believe that he has given community to us for a reason and that we should all take advantage of it. It's not easy I know that, but it is worth it. People are worth it, but because of our sin it is hard sometime to get along with people or sometimes even have friendships that are deep because of our pride. This year last year and this year I am working on building friendships that'll last a lifetime. I'm tired of friendships that only last a few months or a couple years. I want a friendship that'll last a lifetime. I want to be committed to the core. I want to have friendships that are 50/50, that are deep. I want to know your heart, I want to know the things that scare you the most, I want to know the sins you struggle with. I WANT to know YOU. I want to be your friend! I want to be able to tell you things I wouldn't tell other people, I want to be able to come to you in tears asking for help, I want to to be able to call you with out the feeling of feeling like I'm bothering you or being a burden to you. I want to be able to be me and ONLY me when I'm around you without feeling like I'm a freaking weirdo or being judged for what I do. I think there is a lot of beauty in someone that is weird, The world has made us think this way where if you're this certain way then you're cool and if you're not like that than you're weird, That's so wrong. I believe that if you weren't weird we'd all be so boring. I mean the things I say and do that no one sees expect for my close friends and family is what makes me ME. Yes, that's another thing that sin has distorted for us...that when we meet new people that we have to put on this super good impression for people to like us because if we show them our real self nobody will like us or want to be friends with us. I'm not perfect in this area because sometimes there are people I meet that I'm like "oh my goodness they are so weird, or they dress weird" but I'm learned to find beauty in everyone no matter who they are or what they've done or what they've been through. I love this quote that says "she builds others up because she knows what its like to be torn down"...this speaks a lot to me because I know what its like to be torn down, I know what its like to feel so worthless and so I work hard to make people feel like that matter because no one should have to go through that or feel that way ever. I'm still working on this and prayer to be a committed, kind, loving friend would be so appreciated!

I encourage you all to be committed in your friendships!! To not just "be friends" but to be friends that are committed to each other. To be kind to one another, to show them that they matter and that they can find trust and friendship in you! I encourage you to examine yourself and the friendships that you have to see if they are TRUE friendships that'll last a lifetime or just friendships that'll a moment! I encourage you to take the time to be that first person to initiate a hangout or a conversation. I encourage you to be a friend to all you meet!! Be a friend that doesn't count favors "real friends don't count favors, I got you of you got me"-Jay Vinchi I pray that God will grant you guys with friends that'll last a lifetime, that you can walk through life together with.

Forever&Always